What am I listening to? Feldman and Joanna Newsom
Achievements can be hard to talk about.
I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm being obnoxious or boastful if I mention a success. It's almost like it's a dirty thing to be happy about something good that's happened to you.
Likewise, I also find it hard to do self-promotion (ie, come to my concert!) I don't know if this is something everyone struggles with, but I do know that it's a necessary evil. If we don't vouch for ourselves, who will? It is somewhat in our hands whether we're successful or not, and putting yourself out there is the first step.
What does that mean for people who feel a little more introverted? I didn't always feel that way but when it comes to talking about composition, I do find myself very shy in front of groups. At my composition recital, I was more nervous about the whole "opening spiel" than anything else. To be fair, everything else was out of my hands and in the (very able) hands of the performers. I can't help but feel that talking about what I write is very much "talking myself up" and it would be great if I didn't feel that way.
Self promotion is a great topic for a blog! I will make a note to write about this, and add it to my list of great topics that I have not yet blogged about...
ReplyDeleteIt is something that I suspect many composers struggle with. We've all met people who seem to spend too much of their time in "broadcast mode" — lots of talk about themselves, with very little apparent interest in others — and they are colossal bores. So much so, that if you meet such a person and they are telling you about an upcoming performance, you might have zero interest in going to that upcoming performance.
On the other hand, there are also plenty of people who don't feel very comfortable talking about themselves, or upcoming performances, with the unfortunate result that others who would be interested in going to these performances don't go because they didn't know about them.
Somewhere in the middle there is a balance that is right for you, but it can be a challenge to find it. But there is no question in my mind that at least some self promotion is necessary for composers, at least for composers who are genuinely trying to reach out and touch people with their music, which I think is what most composers are trying to do.
You have mentioned your recital a few times, but I did not even know about it at the time! I would have gone, had I known about it.
Anyway, it's a great topic, and one that most of us struggle with, so it's good to talk about it.